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  • Mr. You're Worth It

5 Reasons to Break Up w/ Yourself

Updated: Sep 24, 2019

I'm going to jump right into this thing. In my journey to help audiences grow from the inside out and strengthen their mindsets, I've been doing research, reading more books and creating more experiences for growth. During this process I've come across a book entitled, "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself" - How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One. Why is this important? This is important because many of us may get over things without getting through them. When we simply get over things they still exist in the subconscious with some kind of power over us. What I'm learning from Dr. Joe Dispenza is that our subconscious mind is so much more in control than we could imagine. I'm here to give you notes here and there about Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself. Tools that I am learning have also been placed in my keynotes and mindset sessions for added value as well. It's been life changing and empowering.



#1: You aren't happy before abundance:

This may seem elementary, but sometimes material things or even vacations have a way of masking our happiness and even placing a temporary fix on what may be broken. We may be that thing that is broken. That's how our issues re-appear. We think it's out of NOWHERE, but really it's always been there. We just experienced something that helped us get OVER it for a period of time instead of through it. Our conscious mind was enjoying the vacation, the new car, the new job or opportunity, but our subconscious mind stayed in place because it hadn't been addressed or dealt with yet. Let's do our best to get to the core of our happiness. Joining a club, community group, dance class or movies once a month. We have to do something that FEEDS our soul and mind. You all may be thinking nah, I have work to do. I understand, but what YOU must understand is that if for whatever reason you are no longer able to work, your employer will post the job within a week if they just don't pile your job onto someone else's workload. ((( What if you were more specific about what made you happy? ))) THEN MAKE TIME FOR IT.


#2: You might have an addiction or be an addict:

It's quite possible you've seen a drug addict before. Maybe they were on the street in some city. Maybe they are that family member or the friend you wish could just kick the habit that's tearing them apart physically and emotionally. Have you ever woke up in the morning, looked in the mirror and asked yourself tough questions? My tough question for you today is, "Do You Have an Addiction?" What do you mean Stan??? I don't do drugs or abuse alcohol.

Do you wake up and check social media before saying good morning and being thankful for the day?

Do you eat with your phone next to you at the table?

Do you panic when you leave your phone at home?

Are you unfair to yourself?

Do you always find yourself in bad relationships?

Do you stress yourself out without any outside influence?

Do drive with your phone in your hand?

Do you speed while driving? (when you're not even late)

Do you always wake up late?


Obviously, the list can go on. I'm working through 1 or 2 myself. hahaha but the truth is addictions or (drugs) come in different forms. We look at someone and feel sorry for them because they can't kick their narcotics addiction so they can become the best version of themselves which is likely a happier version. Then, someone sees us fork in one hand having dinner, phone in the other hand voluntarily consuming stress while another human being sits across the table and feels sorry for us. In the same way, it's evident we can't be our best selves with someTHING controlling us. You may say it's not the same thing or it doesn't carry the same weight. It's all relative, isn't it? Do any of the above keep you from being happy or your best self?


#3: Do you have memorized emotions:

Here's something that I learned that we don't often realize. Sometimes, we exude emotions of a previous event before it happens. We all understand the term PTSD which is very real and generally effects our service members; however, most people carry their own versions of PTSD. Is it triggered by a bad relationship, car accident, horrible boss or stressful encounters? I'll give myself as an example that I've worked through. I've been rear ended twice. The second time was worse than the first time and since then, when I see cars coming up behind me, I freeze up and become immediately stressed and full of anxiety rushing to my heart and my mind until I see them stop. Then the anxiety fizzles away. It got so bad that if someone else was driving and I was in the car behind I would put MY IMAGINARY breaks on so THEY wouldn't hit the person in front of us even when they weren't close. My wife can attest that. =( Because of memorized emotions I'd even put myself in the other person's spot completely even though they didn't exist. haha That's crazy right?! Yea, I know. However, I've done so much better through meditation and understanding my memorized emotions that I'm rising above it. So much so that GUESS WHAT, I was rear ended LAST WEEK for a third time, July 5th and I am not even joking. haha I was at a stop light and the person was on their phone, looked up from it and boom. Aside from being a little sore everything is ok. I AM ok. My mind and emotions are ok. I've also been ok since. I've worked through it and not just gotten over it. It's not like I want to continue to test this getting rear ended thing but I understand now. There are other things for me to work through as well. Consider the emotions you've memorized and take yourself off of auto-pilot.


#4: Does stress drive you:

All too often it's what we don't have that drives us. The thing is when you are thinking about what you don't have, it leads you to a feeling of deficiency or desperation. Clearly, we all want more in some area of our life. If desperation is driving you, then you are subconsciously letting stress move you in the direction that it sees fit. We become intoxicated with chasing the desperation instead of filling ourselves up with what we do have and pursuing the win through that lens. Sometimes, we take pride in the wrong things. I got that done in NO time. I had a week to finish the report but I pounded it out in an hour. It's great you have that ability, but what kind of stress do you think you put on your heart and your mind while completing it? Does the victory in the hour completion outweigh the stress of knowing you had a week to complete it? That's a question for you to ask and answer honestly. 


#5: Your software isn't updated:

I know what you're thinking? Relax Stan. This is either getting too "techy" or you are going too deep. Bear with me please. Our physical bodies are the hardware. Look at the phone your reading this through or your computer screen. These pieces of equipment are hardware. Everything inside of your computer that helps it run is software. Sometimes you download a program to keep things running smoother and that is also software. Again, our bodies are hardware, so now we have to begin to ask ourselves how often do we update our software? If data changes EVERY DAY, are you making it a point to update yours? It's like the person who looks super healthy on the outside, but is a wreck on the inside. If you need an example of that, you can AGAIN look at me. haha I appeared very healthy on the outside only to find out when I went to the doctor, I had blood clots and high blood pressure. YIKES!!! It scared me but I had a job to do. It was time to update my software. You can update your software by being more active, meditating, eating better or improving your environment etc. I'm making a long story short here by telling you it's very important to update your software often because life regularly evolves. There's a reason AOL instant messenger isn't a thing anymore and we don't use floppy disks or play Oregon Trail on computers. (that was a fun game for all of you young people reading this.) It's because software continuously gets upgraded. Make sure you do yourself a solid and continue to upgrade yourself even MORE than you think you should. Your mind, body and spirit will thank you.


BONUS: Too many times someone's success story happens when they are at the END OF THEIR VOLUNTARY ROPE. You don't have to wait until you hit rock bottom to reach up. You may be reading this right now and find yourself in a compromising position or difficult position. Work up, reach up and get up now. You can still have a moving story to triumph without trying to prove how much you went through to make things work. If things get bad, we understand and wish you the best, but waiting for them to get bad before you put your foot on the gas will weigh on you more than necessary and I think we discussed that with #4. Be well and remember; You're Good, You're Great, You're Worth It!


BONUS x 2: This process will in fact make you moody. The subconscious knows what you're trying to do and it will fight you until the War is Won by either side. when you think you're out of the woods, it'll test you... BUT.... you will be ready! haha I'm laughing but TOTALLY SERIOUS. Change is difficult, especially when you're trying to change yourself. It will be so worth it though!


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I truly hope this was helpful. As I learn more, you'll learn more!

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